I am compiling a book of real-life testimonials from people who have had partners who tried to control what they wore.

If you have experienced this and are interested in contributing to this book by sharing your story, please continue reading.

There will be a survey at the bottom of the page for you to share your story.

But first, let's address the subject of coercive control:

Coercive control consists of a pattern of acts and behaviors that an abuser uses to deprive the victim of their freedom and control their life. The abuser may use fear, pressure, shame, or rules to exhaust the victim and take control of their decisions. These behaviors can include physical, psychological, or economic abuse, which leaves the victim feeling isolated, helpless, and afraid. This deprives them of their sense of independence and has a negative impact on their daily life and well-being.

This project will be in the form of an illustrated book — a “coffee-table book”, if you will — of testimonials about people’s real experiences inside a controlling relationship. The focus will be on one particular aspect of this abuse: the abusive partner controlling what the other partner wears.

The purpose of the book is

1. to offer validation for people who are living through or have lived through the form of abuse that is known as coercive control, and
2. to raise funds to help victims of coercive control. All proceeds from the project will be donated to a nongovernmental organization that helps people in abusive relationships.

Why am I embarking on this project? Because I was once in such a relationship myself and am still recovering from it. Part of my recovery is to apply my creativity to the experience to shine light on this form of abuse and to validate and create solidarity with others who have experienced it so that they know they’re not alone.

The ultimate goal is to eradicate these toxic behaviors and attitudes.

I of course will share my own experience as part of the book.

Though I anticipate that the vast majority of stories will be from women, I will also accept testimonials from men who have experienced this.

Therefore, I am soliciting participants who are willing to share their stories regarding the following question:

Have you ever had a partner who tried to control what you wore?

If you are interested in participating, I will ask you for the following personal details. If you don’t feel safe providing all of them, please provide whatever you do feel safe sharing.

• Your FIRST name only

(IMPORTANT: If you don’t wish to share your real first name, please invent a fake one. I would rather you provide the fake name than me in order to avoid the very slight but nevertheless distressing chance that I would assign your story a “fake” name that happens to coincide with your real one.)

• Email
• Gender
• Age
• City and/or country
  
  Please proceed to the survey below.